What does J-E-T-S spell? Inconsistent.

While nursing the consequences of a fun filled Saturday evening for my 25th birthday, Sunday's performance by the New York Football-less Jets could have given a sober 70 year old woman a hangover. For the past few weeks I've found myself looking desperately for the same team that manhandled the undefeated Tennessee Titans, and keep coming up with what looks like the same old disappointing Jets. They could have locked the division up weeks ago, but after disappointing losses to Denver and a horrendous 49ers team that was without Frank Gore for half the game, they continued their downward spiral yesterday. By some miraculous act of something otherworldly, they managed to score 10 points in the fourth quarter without even managing a first down. That's almost the equivalent of saying, they won the game even though the other team outplayed them...wait a minute, that's actually what happened.

Jets fans have the idiotic play calling of Bills coach Dick Jauron to thank for this half-hearted miracle that gave us an early Christmas present. Had Jauron called a running play and continued to give the ball to Marshawn Lynch (who the Jets couldn't tackle all afternoon), they'd probably have the win all locked up. I am convinced however, that Jauron did this to torture the soul of every Jets fan, including myself, who now have a renewed false sense of hope going into the last two games of the season.

The Gang Green go out to Seattle next weekend to play the Seahwawks, a team who barely beat the Rams yesterday, yet still nearly upset the Patriots last week. This is a game the Jets could very well lose, and judging by how they've played lately, have a 50/50 shot at losing. Jets play the Miami Dolphins in the final game of the season, which if both teams win next weekend will decide who takes the AFC East, and who gets to go home.

Games like the last 3 the Jets have played are the reason Brett Favre's beard gets a shade grayer each week (though he's partly to blame for their shortcomings this year) and may likely be his reason for actually retiring (again) after this season. I'd like to see Brett back (mainly because Kellen Clemens isn't our savior), but will not be angry or disappointed if he isn't. Eric Mangini is great at finding a game plan, and using it...for the entire season, even when it stops working or teams figure it out. Prime examples: They run the ball almost every time Leon Washington is on the field; If Brad Smith is in, they're going to some sort of ridiculous triple reverse option (Smith didn't play yesterday, and I think the team is better off with Clowney in. He's a faster and better receiver, and his name is Clowney.) They don't blitz anymore and wonder why Shaun Hill looked like the reincarnation of Joe Montana last weekend. Luckily J.P. Losman might be the worst QB on the planet, thus a main reason to why they won against the Bills.

Long story short (I know, too late.), the Jets, though they seemed to be the new and improved Jets at the start of the season and especially after the Titans game, are the same old Jets. Or as Mr. Hurley in "Big Daddy" called them, "The goddamn Jets." That's right, their horrendous shortcomings have been so bad in the 1990's/2000's that they get a shout out by a drunk old man at the Blarney Stone in an Adam Sandler film (If you saw the game yesterday you'd also notice Sandler was at the game, as well as Michael Douglas).

I really don't know where I'm going with this whole post other than to revoice what was once my former disdain for the New York Jets. I rewatched "Step Brothers" and "The Dark Knight" before and after the game yesterday in my day of lethargy, and both were more rewarding and fulfilling to watch than the Jets have been in the past 3 weeks. I hope this does not understate the greatness of both films, as it is not my intention for the overt crappiness of the Jets recently to be so dismal that it would mean watching "The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift" would also be more rewarding or fulfilling.

One more sidenote: what the hell is up with Chad Pennington? The guy leaves the Jets then unleashes 40 yard passes of the likes we have never seen? Must be the warm Miami weather loosening up his once linguini-like arm.

NFL Week 2 Results!!!

(Picture above: a furious Norv Turner on the blown call hear round the world in Week 2)

Tennessee 24, Cincinnati, 7: The Titans won again, as I predicted, along with everyone else in the coutnry. The Bengals spent their week two bolstering their competition with the Rams for crappiest team in the league

Green Bay 48, Detroit 25: As predicted the Pack went 2-0 under new stud quarterback Aaron "Not related to the former lead singer of Bad Company, current lead singer of Queen's Paul" Rodgers.
Oakland 23, Kansas City, 8: This one was pretty much a clownshow as expected, the Raiders won in an uneventful matchup. I called it, crappy game, crappy Oakland win.

NY Giants 41, St. Louis 13: Mark Bulger continues to stink up my fantasy bench, and as we all thought, the G-Men went to 2-0 playing what resembled a Kentucky Division 2 High School football team. Way to go Rams, your city has the highest crime rate in the nation, and you have the lowest sense of self esteem in the NFL.

Indianapolis 18, Minnesota 15: I said this one would be decent, but we didn't expect a last second nailbiter. With seconds left in the game Adam "I wear little kicker's shoes but still have 3 Super Bowl rings" Vinatieri won it with a long kick for the Colts.

Washington 29, New Orleans 24: After watching the Redskins sleep through four quarters of football in week one against the Giants, they were brought back to life in week 2, and pulled off an impressive win on the road. I didn't call this one, and after watching their week one laugh fest, I don't think many other people did either.

Chicago 20, Carolina 17: The Bear surprised me, and other people picking Carolina to win at home, especially after a very impressive victory last week against the Chargers. I guess the Bears are proving us all wrong, in that a team really can win without the presence of a quarterback or any sort of passing game.

Buffalo 20, Jacksonville 16: I called this one being close, with the Bills winning, and they pulled it off by 4 points, going to 2-0 to match their division leading New England Patriots.

San Fransisco 33, Seattle 30: I thought the Seahawks would pull this win out at home, but much like the rest of their division, on any given Sunday, any team can suck. Don't let the high score fool you, the San Fransisco defense is the only bright spot on either side and even they let up 30 points.

Tampa Bay 24, Atlanta 9: After an impressive win over the Lions in week one, I thought the Falcons would take care of the Bucs since they had Brian Griese starting for an injured Jeff Garcia. Well, Atlanta proved that they're still only one year removed from a mess of a season, and the Bucs smacked them around.

New England 19, NY Jets 10: I don't even want to get into this game, save for the fact that Eric Mangini proved he has always and unless anything changes, will always be scared of the Patriots (even without Tom Brady). The Jets were coached like they were still being led by Chad Pennington, proven with 3 straight runs with a first and goal inside the 5 yard line in the first half. Last time I checked Brett Favre was their quarterback. That's right, the same quarterback who leads NFL record books for red zone touchdown passes. Mangini and O-Coordinator Brian Schottenheimer need to take their heads out of their rear ends and smell the dirty NJ Turnpike air and get their act together. Needless to say I thought the Jets would win; they didn't.

Arizona 31, Miami 10: Arizona's potent offense came through as I suspected, and dropped the Dolphins to 0-2. The road to another 1-15 season is paved by games like this one.

Denver 39, San Diego 38: Well, with the most contraversial blown call of the season or recent memory, the Chargers slipped to 0-2, while the Broncos popped up on a bunch of radars going 2-0, on the heels of a gutsy call by coach Mike Shanahan to go for a 2 point conversion to win the game rather than an extra point to tie in the closing seconds. I am very afraid for my Jets going into San Diego for Monday Night Football next week against a Chargers team that is foaming at the mouth to pound the crap out of somebody.

Pittsburgh 10, Cleveland 6: Pittsburgh won this one 10-6 in the midst of what looked like a hurrican in Cleveland on Sunday night. Cleveland is 2-0 and far from the team that surprised a lot of people last year. The Steelers are emerging as an AFC powerhouse, now that the Colts, Patriots, and Chargers are obviously weakened.

Dallas41, Philadelphia 37: I thought Dallas would win this by 10 or 14 points, but the Eagles proved they are a force to be reckoned with in the NFC East again, coming off a rough season last year. Here's a quote from my predicitons: "This is probably the best Monday Night Football matchup the league could have planned for in week 2." Bam, there, I said it and my premonition delivered. This had to be one of the most offensively potent games in recent Monday Night history. To take a line from those Sunday NFL Ticket Direct TV commercials Jimmy Kimmel has been in, this is a game that had the defensive coordinators from both teams updating their resumes.

(Postponed) Baltimore @ Houston: Due to Hurrican Ike tearing through Texas this game has been rescheduled for week 8.

Record This Week: 9-6/ Overall Season So Far: 20-11