Mike and the Mad Dog
These two sorry excuses for microphone wielders sound like a live action Yogi Bear and Dick Vitale if he was sucking helium out of a tank whenever he talked. They are usually as absent-minded as many of the people who call up these sports radio shows and they should just go back whatever hot dog carts they were pushing before they got into broadcasting. Recently I heard that Mike and the Dog had a falling out however, and will not be broadcasting together for much longer. The baseball gods have answered the calls of fans throughout the tri-state area. I prefer Mike and Mike on ESPN radio, not these shmendricks, as Harvey Keitel called Jon Lackey in the Derek Jeter Gatorade commercial. Even by the looks of their pictures, they look like they should have been used car salesmen.
John Sterling and Suzyn Waldman
My thoughts on Mike and the Mad Dog pale in comparison to these two clowns who have called the Yankees games on the radio for longer than a decade. Suzyn Waldman loses points just for her funky-spelled name, and she's related to the Steinbrenner family, so there you have it. That was her ticket to the Press Box, but John Sterling, I'm not so sure about. I have no idea what this man does other than fuel the negative stereotypes towards New York/New Jersey natives. He's the Dr. Seuss of stupid people, coining phrases such as: "Jeterian," "An A-Bomb from A-Rod," "Damonic," "Whaddaya Know, Robbie Cano," and "A Damon Dinger," need I say more? I would rather listen to termites chew a house down than have to hear these two talentless announcers, but if I'm stuck in the car while the Yanks are playing, this is the torture I must endure.
Joe Buck and Tim McCarver
Joe Buck's head is huge, and filled with things I do not care to know. Tim McCarver is old, and unwise, and hates the Yankees. The next time you watch these two commentating on a Saturday baseball game on Fox and the Yankees are playing, take close notice. The negative-positive comments they have to offer about the Yankees outrank by a ration of about 10-1. Every season, they continue to do the best they can at making sure the rest of America hates the New York Yankees like they hate O.J. Joe Buck's zombie-like stare, and McCarver's fire breathing wrath displayed in the picture below are mere hints at their evil and sinister ways.
Rosie O'Donnell and Oprah Winfrey with Tyra Banks as a correspondent.
I threw this one in there because I can't stand any of these 3 Cruella De Villes. The best thing to ever happen on American television in the past 10 years was Rosie O'Donnell leaving her talk show. Too bad Oprah can't follow suit; I know this will never happen because Oprah does not trust her control on the universe with anyone else other than herself. Tyra Banks is the product of someone taking Oprah and Rosie's DNA and combining them in some secret underground lair somewhere. Similar to Gremlins having water poured on them or being fed after midnight. Tyra is one person climbing in the ranks who may ultimately take Rosie and Oprah's crown of annoyance. If these three ever planned some sort of hostile takeover, it would be a trifecta of terror similar to Stalin, Mussolini and Hitler getting together to plan world domination. If my blog mysteriously disappears in the near future, know that it was because of Oprah and Rosie's foot soldiers who will most likely have taken me hostage by then.
Joe Buck's head is huge, and filled with things I do not care to know. Tim McCarver is old, and unwise, and hates the Yankees. The next time you watch these two commentating on a Saturday baseball game on Fox and the Yankees are playing, take close notice. The negative-positive comments they have to offer about the Yankees outrank by a ration of about 10-1. Every season, they continue to do the best they can at making sure the rest of America hates the New York Yankees like they hate O.J. Joe Buck's zombie-like stare, and McCarver's fire breathing wrath displayed in the picture below are mere hints at their evil and sinister ways.
Rosie O'Donnell and Oprah Winfrey with Tyra Banks as a correspondent.
I threw this one in there because I can't stand any of these 3 Cruella De Villes. The best thing to ever happen on American television in the past 10 years was Rosie O'Donnell leaving her talk show. Too bad Oprah can't follow suit; I know this will never happen because Oprah does not trust her control on the universe with anyone else other than herself. Tyra Banks is the product of someone taking Oprah and Rosie's DNA and combining them in some secret underground lair somewhere. Similar to Gremlins having water poured on them or being fed after midnight. Tyra is one person climbing in the ranks who may ultimately take Rosie and Oprah's crown of annoyance. If these three ever planned some sort of hostile takeover, it would be a trifecta of terror similar to Stalin, Mussolini and Hitler getting together to plan world domination. If my blog mysteriously disappears in the near future, know that it was because of Oprah and Rosie's foot soldiers who will most likely have taken me hostage by then.
Joe Morgan and Jon Miller
Joe Morgan's head is inflated with his useless, one-sided opinions of the game; mainly, hating on the New York Yankees. His constant airhead observations with ESPN's resident Humpty Dumpty Jon Miller drives me to put my television set on mute whenever they are calling a Yankees Sunday Night Baseball game or a playoff game (which are the only 2 occurrences where I am forced to have to listen to the audible anguish that is their sorry excuse for baseball commentary). I still hold firm to my theory that they are in some way responsible for the MLB players strike that cut the 1994 season in half. Sure, Jon Miller may resemble a clean shaven Kris Kringle, but don't let his grandfatherly appearance and charm fool you, he has thoughts of baseball ruin on his mind.
Joe Morgan's head is inflated with his useless, one-sided opinions of the game; mainly, hating on the New York Yankees. His constant airhead observations with ESPN's resident Humpty Dumpty Jon Miller drives me to put my television set on mute whenever they are calling a Yankees Sunday Night Baseball game or a playoff game (which are the only 2 occurrences where I am forced to have to listen to the audible anguish that is their sorry excuse for baseball commentary). I still hold firm to my theory that they are in some way responsible for the MLB players strike that cut the 1994 season in half. Sure, Jon Miller may resemble a clean shaven Kris Kringle, but don't let his grandfatherly appearance and charm fool you, he has thoughts of baseball ruin on his mind.
I will happily accept any additions you may see fit to be added to this list. I will be sure to research their broadcasting woes and continue to blow the whistle on these men and women who make our teams that much harder to watch on a weekly basis, and give us all the more reason to buy tickets and see the games in person.
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